:,(

im crying so bad.
like a little baby.
heh.

i freaking miss my dad.
how bad i miss my dad ?
very bad.
i nvr had the chance to meet him at all.
since we got separated.
and i was only little.

i remembered last year ,
he was sick.
i get to the hospital ,
and we couldnt enter.
i never get the chance to even look at his face.

he's fine now.
and the pic below ,
its the latest pic of my brother and my uncle and HIM , my dad ! , early this year.
he look very different.
he's the one on the far left of the pic.
he's big and round and with the beard and he's bald ???!!!
my goodness !
i can barely recognize my own dad.

im glad.
syukur alhamdullilah kepada Allah swt , ayah da taubat.
:)

its always my brother who get the chance of meeting him.
once every year , he'll get to meet him.
why not me ?
my mum just wouldnt allow me to.
my brother too.
why ??????!!!!!
:,(

you know how bad i want to meet my own flesh and blood ?
and i just couldnt meet him.
i was still young when i met him and reconcile.
i just cant wait to turn 21.
when im really free from my mum , to go anywhere i want.
that's what my grandma said.

i really do want to meet him.
i miss him real bad.

let me cry a lil more ,
then i can have my pre-dawn meal ,
and fast with a peaceful mind.
if not ill still cry later in the morning ,
and i cant fast la like that.
hahs.

well , every year will be the same for me.

mira rindu ayah !
:(

Love ,
MiRa